Three years ago I bought a camera. I had no intention or idea what I was doing. I rented a van with my girlfriend at the time. We planned to take a two week road trip up the California coast. I had an old mountain bike that I never used since surfing consumed my entire mindspace. I hit Facebook market place and offer up looking for cameras that were equivalent value of my mountain bike. The week before our departure I found a willing participant for a trade. I excitedly jammed a 29er Giant mountain bike into my 2001 Toyota Camry and drove to the specified grocery store parking lot for the transaction. We got out of our cars, examined each others items, and shook hands. That was it. Driving home with my new Canon EOS M50 and a kit lens, I was elated. I knew nothing about photography or the technical aspects of exposure, lighting, and composition. All I knew is the camera had an auto setting and I would make it work.
*Some of the first pictures in my camera
I took pictures of everything, still not taking the time to learn about manual..wow was the manual setting scary. Every time I even switched the dial to that M the screen went black I didnt know how to introduce light to the lens.
I made a friend. She would take pictures of me surfing, thanks Emma. I offered to buy her a burrito. We stat, waiting, at a high table on barstools. I asked her how she gets such nice edits from her photos. She took out her phone and showed me lightroom. Woah. I was impressed. She had the paid version, but suggested that I get the app and use the free version. She showed me S curves, lighting settings, and then our burritos came. I was ready to edit.
With my new found logic came a series of pictures of distorted colors, poor exposure, but a love for the process that I still carry with me.
I was edgy, an artist. Greens, reds, grain, s curves, weird angles, still never touching that formidable M setting. This was becoming a new hobby. I knew nothing about lenses or the world of lighting, composition, or exposure. I was content with my 15-45 kit lens and auto settings. I began to learn. My biggest problem was I worked a corporate job. This meant that my time to shoot was at night. When the sun was out I was either on my computer programming marketing analytics algorithms or paddling my heart out at near by surf breaks. I googled "how to shoot at night with Canon EOS M50"...that was a mistake. A barage of YouTube Videos, blog posts, and how-to tutorials overwhelmed my simple mind. I found a useful video on the internal programs for my specfic camera, YES! This meant that I still didn't need to learn how to shoot manual because there was built in functionality that would do it for me. Countless nights I would skateboard to the park and shoot everything that I could find, trying the built-in long expsoure, low-light, and double exposure programs in the camera.
I quit my job to surf. The Christmas bonus rolled in and I felt I had enough in my savings to travel Central America for a bit. I sold everything. Not my camera. Surfing was my main priority, but thought this was the perfect opportunity to use my camera. STILL never leaving my beloved auto settings. I loved taking pictures. I met so many great people that were incredible at this craft. Quickly bonding, I asked what gear they use, process, "can I follow your instagram?"
People don't really talk about what it means to travel alone. This is a topic for another blog post, but is revelant to what I want to say now. There is so much time. I was waking up at 6am feeling refreshed because there was no brain fog or long nights trying to fit everything into a day, finializing scripts for backend functionality, dinner time slack messgaes. I was free of everything that consumed my time. When this happens there is no bright realization of meaning, purpose, or direction. There is just time. Time and choices. I was taking buses from Dominical Costa Rica to a small village in Panama. I was alone. No tourists, no friends, no reception. This was my time to learn, really learn what photography is and what it meant to me. I lived with a family doing farming and construction work in exchange for food and housing. Other than my short required working hours, the day was mine. I surfed till my arms couldn't move. There was still so much time. The nights were lonely. No city lights, bars, parties; just the books I traveled with, a $200 dollar computer I bought in a border town, and my camera.
I discovered street photography. Holy Shit. This blew my mind. The beautiful images of life. Unfiltered, uncensored representation of love, pain and moment. This meant everything to me. I dreamed of a world where I could go back and capture the moments I just experienced with my new found perspective. I scoured the internet for what cameras, what settings, what gear, what on earth do I need to acquire and what skill do I need to obtain to do this forever. This might seem extreme, but that's just how I experience the world. I remember the night that my hands trembled and my heart pounded as I sat at a table converted from a massive tree trunk, stars shown bright, and the jungle surrounding me as loud as ever. I was ready to do it. I took my camera out, popped off my lens cap and turned that small dial from A to M. WOW. I did it. My camera did not catch on fire and I was still alive.
This is where the journey began. I learned about the exposure triangle, how aperture, shutter, and ISO relate. The differences between DSLR and mirrorless, crop frame, full frame. I learned about long expsoure, color grading, calibration, black and white, masking, everything. Countless articles and YouTube videos on composition. I could not consume enough. For whatever reason it seemed easy. I was so scared for YEARS. It hurt my head to try and do it. Little did I know all I needed was to be completely alone in a jungle surrounded by people who didn't speak my language to learn what the difference between F8 and F1.8 was.
I decided to return home after 7 months. I had no idea what I was going to do for work, where I was going to live, and what life meant to me. What I did know was street photography was the coolest fucking thing I had ever heard of. So from that point on all I did was try and take pictures of people and capture moments.
I went to England to visit my sister. BURNING through cash. I stayed for a few weeks and mostly took pictures and drank beer. It was incredible. It was time to return home, get a car, buy shoes, and figure out a direction. I had a friend who needed a roommate in San Diego. It was done. Time to drive across country. Taking pictures the entire way. Sleeping in my car, sneaking into camp grounds, and crashing at new found friends couches. This was living. I was taking street portraits of everyone and trying to conduct interviews with a crappy voice recorder. I didn't know where this was going or what I wanted to do, but I knew that this is what I wanted to continue doing.
I land in San Diego and say fuck it. Let's see if I can get a job as a photographer. I did not. I reached out to every photography studio wanting to represent my street skills and convince them that this would translate to studio. They didn't buy it. I began to reach out to music venues saying that I was well equipped to capture the essence of artists on stage because I found a knack for capturing moments on the street. "Hey thanks for reaching out we have some shows coming up this week if you are interested."
Heart pounding once again. I open my computer and learn everything that I can about concert photography. Call friends, thanks Dylan, and get their advice on what they do. This was monumental. I would be shooting three shows for free. This was my moment. An official press pass, photo pit, access to artsists, free concerts.
I am hooked. The energy. The crowd. The pursuit. I took 2000 photos my first concert. I stayed up until 4am going through each one, meticulously scanning and editing, having no idea what I was doing. Fuck. So many colors. "This looks like shit", "You suck", "What the fuck even is this" is some of the lovely words I used with myself that night. I submitted my photos and they liked them. I ended up being featured on multiple instagram accounts and the venue still uses my photos as a part of their marketing. Overall I thought this was a step in the right direction.
Now I am here, today. Still not paid. Taking pictures every day. shooting multiple concerts a week, sometimes for individual artsists and sometimes for various venues around town. Throwing my name in the mix. Connecting with other photographers, continuing to learn and forever excited by every opportunity that presents itself. I am not sure what compelled me to write this. Hopefully to reach other people that are going through something similar or have just bought their first camera. I am not sure, but I think I am going to continue to document my journey with photography. One day I will be able to look back and have a memory of what it was like.
I hope you enjoyed my poorly written story.
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